Hey Night Buddies! Crosley here!

An’ have I ever got somethin’ for YOU! Namely, the genuine warranted recipe
for Crosley’s Super Fantastical Cheese Wulgers. (Wulgers bein’ a crocodile
word for somethin’ that’s been wulged, okay?) They’re nothin’ next t’
pineapple cheesecakes in my personal estimation, but it appears a whole lot
o’ people think they’re BETTER! That’s crazy, but there’s no accountin’ for
taste, I guess. I will admit they’re awful good.

So here’s what ya start out with:




One pound o’ sharp cheddar cheese
Half a pound o’ butter
Two an’ a quarter cups o’ white flour
A heapin’ tablespoon o’ dill seeds
A not-heapin’ teaspoon o’ salt
A quarter teaspoon o’ red pepper

Right. So let the cheese an’ butter warm up t’ room temperature. Dump the
flour in a big bowl an’ sprinkle all o’ that little stuff on top. Chop up
the cheese into about 15 pieces an’ dump this in, along with the butter.
Then, what ya do, ya wulge it all up into a dough ball with your greasy ol’
hands. Cut the ball up into three or four pieces an’ roll each piece out
into a rod about one an’ a half inches thick. Wrap each rod up in aluminum
foil an’ stick in the freezer about thirty minutes t’ get the dough hard
enough t’ slice with a big knife. Take the foil off an’ slice into cookies
about five t’ the inch. Preheat oven t’ 300 degrees (F), put wulgers on
cookie sheets an’ bake 45 minutes. It’s good t’ switch ends o’ the sheets
halfway through. Take out o’ oven an’ scrape wulgers off the sheets pretty
quick. Then let them suckers sit an’ suck air for one or two days. Ya’ll
be mighty pleased!